and started east on foot, angling across Charlie's yard toward the ever-encroaching forest. It didn't take long 'til I was deep enough for the house and the road to be invisible, for the only sound to be the squish of the damp earth under my feet and the sudden cries of the jays.
There was a thin ribbon of trail that led through the forest here, or I wouldn't risk wandering on my own like this. My sense of direction was hopeless, as were most of my senses after the accident; I could get lost anywhere. I could get lost with a map. I could get lost with a tour guide and a map. I could get lost with a tour guide and a map if I was on a bus tour.
The trail wound deeper and deeper into the forest, mostly east as far as I could tell. It snaked around the Sitka spruces and the hemlocks, the yews and the maples, and lots of other trees I was able to identify. I'd learned many of their names from earlier days with Charlie, when he would point them out to me from the cruiser window while we were doing some father-daughter cruising, before the accident. A cruising of a different breed. There were many I didn't know, and others I couldn't be sure about because they were so covered in the ultimate green parasite: life.
I followed the trail as long as my anger at myself pushed me forward; it was a long time, probably forty minutes. I was so angry. As that started to ebb, I slowed. A few drops of moisture trickled down from the canopy above me, but I couldn't be certain if it was beginning to rain or if it was simply pools or other liquids being retained since yesterday, held high in the leaves above me, slowly trickling their way back to the earth. A recently fallen tree—I knew it was recent because I had studied trees—rested against the trunk of her sisters. She created a sheltered little bench just a few safe feet off the trail. I only fell once while getting to it. I sat carefully, making sure my jacket was between the damp seat and my clothes wherever they touched, and leaned my hooded head back against the living tree.

137

Chapter 7

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