It was sunny again in the morning. I awakened with renewed hope that I grimly tried to suppress. I dressed for the warmer weather in a deep blue V-neck blouse—something I'd worn in the dead of winter in sunny Phoenix, California.
I had planned my arrival at school so that I barely had time to make it to class, forcing me to run and sweat through that skimpy little V-neck. With a sinking heart, I circled the lot pretending to look for a space, although there were already tons of free ones, as I searched for the silver Volvo that was clearly not there. I parked and hurried to English, arriving breathless and perspiring, but subdued, before the final bell.
It was the same as yesterday—I just couldn't keep little sprouts of hope from budding in my mind, only to have them squashed painfully by the harsh foot of reality as I searched the lunchroom in vain and sat at my empty Biology table.
The Fort Angles scheme was back on again for tonight and made all the more attractive by the fact that Lauren had other obligations—which presumably involved convincing Tyler that she did not want to cut off his penis. I was anxious to get out of town so I could stop glancing over my shoulder, hoping to see him appearing out of the blue the way he always did. I vowed to myself that I would be in a good mood tonight and not ruin Angela's or Jessica's pre-ball dress hunting excitement. Maybe I could do a little clothes shopping as well. I refused to think that I might be shopping alone in Seattle this weekend, no longer interested in the earlier arrangement. Surely he wouldn't cancel without at least telling me.
Surely.
Oh, who was I kidding? Fredward wanted nothing to do with me. I was just like silly little Jessica, pining away for an idiot who was more attractive than me, and who already loved someone else. I slammed my locker at the thought. But who? I cycled through the list of people, but none of them seemed like Fredward's type.
Lauren was clearly a lesbian, and not the hot kind.
Jessica was too... desperate.
Angela was too... I didn't know, but she was definitely too something.
Mike was too... wait a minute. Was it Mike? Were we in some hellish Shakespearian love triangle? Had Fredward been using me to get close to Mike? I thought of his horsey face, those spikes in his hair, that stupid fat grin...
That dork Eric had to snap me out of it: I'd been slamming my locker door repeatedly. I was too embarrassed to try to explain it, so I just ran out to the parking lot to meet Jessica.
She followed me home in her old white Mercury so that I could ditch my books and truck. I brushed through my hair quickly when I was inside,

151

Chapter 6

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