have fun. "Be young!" I shouted. They looked at me, then at each other, then at me again. "Go be young, frivolous! Don't waste your time sitting around a silly old book store!" They shrugged. They didn't know how preoccupied I could get when surrounded by books. It's like the books would open up and implode, drawing me into worlds unlike worlds I'd ever known; it was something I preferred to do alone. They walked off to the car, happily chattering their simple chatter, and I headed in the direction Jess pointed out.
I had no trouble finding the bookstore, but it wasn't what I was looking for. The windows were full of crystals, dream-catchers, and books about spiritual healing and other New Age Indian hippie shit. Through the glass I could see a fifty-year-old woman with long, gray hair worn straight down her back, clad in a dress right out of the sixties, smiling welcomingly from behind the counter. I decided that was one conversation I could skip.
I meandered through the streets, which were filling up with end-of-the-workaday traffic, and hoped I was headed toward downtown. I wasn't paying as much attention as I should have to where I was going; I was wrestling with despair. I was trying so hard not to think about him, and what Angela had said... and more than anything, trying to beat down my hopes for Saturday, fearing a disappointment more painful than the rest.
I stomped along in a southerly direction, toward some glass-fronted shops that looked promising. But when I got to them, they were just a repair shop and a vacant space. I still had too much time to go looking for Jess and Angela and I needed to get my mood in hand before I got out of hand.

157

Chapter 8

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