voice impressive. "First from a piano bench, then from a window, then from cliffs. He tried to drown himself, first in his bathtub, then his father's swimming pool, then in a full-blown ocean... but he was young to the new life, and very strong. His body would take on the traits of certain animals—for example, when he tried to jump off bridges, his body channeled the traits of an ant or a grasshopper... you know, something that doesn't die from long falls. Anyway, it is amazing that he was able to resist eating people when he was so new, so fresh, because the instinct is more powerful then. It takes over everything. But he was so repulsed by himself that he had the strength to try to kill himself with starvation."
"Is that possible?" My voice was faint.
"No, there are very few ways we can be killed." He paused. "When he tried to starve himself, he began to take on the traits of some extinct bird that could go without eating for a year."
I opened my mouth.
"So he grew very hungry, and eventually weak. He stayed as far as he could from human beings, recognizing that his willpower was weakening, too. For months he wandered by night, seeking the loneliest places to brood and loathe himself.
"One night, a herd of deer passed his hiding place. He was so wild with thirst that he attacked without a thought. His strength returned and he realized there was an alternative to being the vile monstere he always feared he was. Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Were deer not more than meer vegetables that had simply come alive? Over the next months, his new Philosophy was born. He could exist without being a Demon. He had found Himself again.
"He began to make better use of his time. He'd always been intelligent, eager to learn.. Now he had unlimited time before him. He studied by night, planned by day. He swam to France and—"
"To try to kill himself again?" I wondered aloud.
"People swim the Channel all the time, Bella," he reminded me patiently.

338

Chapter 16

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