It appeared that Charlie was having an aneurysm.314
"Dad, are you having an aneurysm?"
"You are going out with Fredward Cullen?" he thundered.
"I thought you liked the Cullens."
"He's too old for you," he ranted.
"We're both juniors," I corrected, though he was more right than he would ever dream.
"Wait... " He paused. "Which one is Edward?"
"Fredward is the youngest, the one with the reddish brown sticky-uppy hair. The beautiful one, the godlike one, and the only man farmer enough to seed my field. You know?"
"Oh, well, that's"—he struggled—"better, I guess. I don't like the look of that big one. I'm sure he's a nice boy and all, but he's just... so big. Is this Edward your boyfriend?"
"It's Fredward, Dad."
"Is he?"
"Sort of, I guess."
"You said last night that you weren't interested in any of the boys in town." But he picked up his fork again, so I could see the worst was over.
"Well, Fredward doesn't live in town, Dad."
He gave me a disparaging look as he chewed.
"And, anyways," I continued, "it's kind of at an early stage, you know. Don't embarrass me with all the boyfriend talk, okay? I haven't even... I haven't even kissed him with tongue yet, you know?"
Charlie chuckled. "When is he coming over?"
"He's probably already here."
314. Seeing a loved one have an aneurysm is actually a very frightening and sad experience.