But her voice was too even, and the air she exhaled was rotten with deceit.
Jasper was suddenly beside Alice, closer to me than usual, almost as close to me as she was.
"Bella," he said in a suspiciously soothing voice. "You have nothing to worry about. You are completely safe here."
"I know that."
"Then why are you frightened?" he asked, confused. He might feel the tenor of my emotions, but he couldn't read the reasons behind them.
"You heard what Laurnet said." My voice was just a whisper, but I was sure they could hear me. "He said Yames was lethal. What if something goes wrong, and they get separated? If something happens to any of them, Carbomb, Emmett...Fredward..." I gulped hard. "If that wild female hurts Esme..." My voice had grown higher, rising above the gulp in my throat, a note of hysteria dancing lightly between the two. "How could I live with myself when it's all my fault? How could I live at all?"
"Bella," Jasper started.
I was still hysterical, throwing my hands up and bringing them down just to bring them up again. "How could I even...how could I even think of...living?..."
"Bella, stop," Jasper interrupted.
I didn't stop. "But Casper, I..."
"Bella," he cooed.
"Casper..." I whispered, in hysterics.
"Bella, stop." Alice cried, her words pouring out so quickly that they were hard to understand. "You're worrying about all the wrong things, Bella. Trust me on this—none of us are in jeopardy, much less double or final jeopardy. You are under too much strain as it is; don't add to it with wholly unnecessary worries."
"Listen to me!" Jasper suddenly yelled. "Our family is strong. Our only weakness is you!"
And with that, I burst out crying and began to wheeze irregularly.
Alice touched my erratically moving cheek with her cold fingles. "It's been almost a century that Fredward's been alone. Now he's found you. You can't see the changes

411

Chapter 20

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