It was to Forks that I now exiled myself—an action that I took with great horror. I detested Forks.6
I loved Phoenix. I loved the sun's blistering heat as it played over my pale skin, making it glow whiter than the hottest of lights. I loved the vigorous, sprawling city, so big that I couldn't but lose myself to it.
"Bella,"7 my mom said to me—the last of a thousand times—before I got on the plane. "You don't have to do this."
"Listen to you say my name and tell me what I don't have to do?"
She sighed.
My mom looks like me, except with short hair and laugh lines. I felt a spasm of panic as I stared at her wide, mothering hips. How could I leave my loving, erratic, hare-brained, wide-hipped, frumpy, tasteless mother to fend for herself? Of course she had Phil8 now, so the bills would probably get paid, there would be food in the refrigerator, gas in her car, and someone to call when she got lost, but still... she was loving, erratic, hare-brained, wide-hipped, frumpy, tasteless, and a nag. In other words: Reneé.9 What would she do without me?
"I want to go," I lied. I'd always been a bad liar, but I'd been saying this lie so frequently lately that it sounded almost convincing now.
"Tell Charlie I said hi."
"I will." I lied. The last thing he ever needed to hear was that my mother still knew he existed.
"I'll see you soon," she lied. "You can come home whenever you want—I'll come right back as soon as you need me."
But I could see the sacrifice happening behind her eyes, behind the promise.10
"Don't worry about me," I urged. "It'll be great. I love you, Mom."
6. Founded in 1797 by Eustace "Forks" Miller, a notorious serial killer who killed his victims with knives.
7. An Italian word meaning "beautiful."
8. Bella's mother's new husband, an aspiring baseball player and child at heart. By the nature of his dreams, Phil is forced to move around the country to try out for different minor-league teams. Reneé follows him because they are married and she wants to be around him and she is also unemployed.
9. Bella's mother's husband's new wife; Bella's mother.
10. In Italian, "promise" and "sacrifice" are the same word: "bella."