I tried very hard not to be aware of him for the rest of the hour; but, since that was impossible, at least not let him know how and to what extent I was aware of him. When the bell rang at last, I literally turned my back to him to gather my things, expecting him to leave immediately as usual.
"Bella?" His voice shouldn't have been so familiar to me, as if I'd known the sound of it all my life rather than just a few short weeks.
I turned slowly, unwillingly. I didn't want to feel what I knew I would feel when I looked at his too-perfect face. My expression was wary when I finally turned to him; his expression was unreadable.
"What? Are you speaking to me again?" I finally asked, an unintentional note of petulance in my voice, surprising even myself.
His lips twitched, fighting a crooked smile. It seemed he was always either glaring at me, or laughing at me at inappropriate moments. "No, not really," he admitted.
I closed my eyes and mouth, and inhaled slowly through my nose, aware that I was grinding my teeth. He waited. I should have been ecstatic that he was paying me attention, that he was initiating a conversation which was possibly a gateway to a full reunion. I should have been overjoyed that those eyes rested on me again, and that crooked smile was coming out despite all of his efforts to keep it in. What was my problem?
"Then what do you want, Fredward?" I asked, keeping my eyes closed; it was easier to talk to him coherently that way, without his sweet face in my face like a delicious hot dog floating under my nose while I tried to cook a vegan feast for my new, more conscious friends. It was so tempting it wasn't fair.
"I'm sorry." He sounded sincere. "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really. Trust me." He paused. "Can't you trust me?"
I opened my eyes, staring the hot dog straight in the face, intaking its odors and forgetting how to speak. I felt giddy, but his face was serious; this hot dog meant business.
"I don't know what you mean," I said, my voice guarded.106
"It's better if we're not friends," he explained. "Trust me."
106. See thought question #3.